


Mere Monstrosity

by QuickSilverFox3



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Chronic Pain, Hogwarts, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Missing Scene, Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26594413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuickSilverFox3/pseuds/QuickSilverFox3
Summary: Something is the matter with Remus. It's not the transformations, but Sirius is still worried. So a late night expedition is in order.-Remus half cracked an eye, staring up at Sirius uncomprehendingly for a moment that felt like it lasted a lifetime, before a frown furrowed his brow and his eye slipped closed once more."What time is it?" Remus whispered, voice hoarse and cracked, but he patted the edge of the bed for Sirius to sit, activating the soundproofing as he did so.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 88





	Mere Monstrosity

Sirius slipped out of the Gryffindor Common Room just as the party reached its height — his escape covered by James finally working up the nerve to approach Lily once again, prompting an argument that lacked the heat of previous years. The carefree grin slipped from his face as soon as he was out of sight, rubbing at the ache in his jaw bone as he crept through the dark hallways. 

The moon was absent from the sky, an endless expanse of velvet black, and the corridors were full of twisted shadows. Sirius’ heart picked up in the cage of his ribs as his mind ran away with what could be lurking in those shadows. He had never been scared of creatures that lurked in the dark — Sirius’ monsters bore far more familiar faces and shadows of them could be seen whenever he looked in a mirror — but tonight was different. 

The decision to shift was barely a conscious one, the act as easy as breathing now as his bones seamlessly slid into new configurations and fur sprouted from his skin. The shadows were different through his new eyes, a rich rolling blue instead of black. His claws clicked against the stairs as Sirius made his way down the slowly swinging staircase, towards the Hospital Wing. 

He’d been there only a few hours before, mud covering his Quidditch uniform and blood streaming from a broken nose, hangers on falling at the wayside with every step. The potion had tasted bitter, ink coloured liquid staining his fingers black, but Sirius gulped it down without protest, watching Madame Pomfrey out of the corner of one eye, waiting for the opportunity to present itself. 

She turned away, distracted from her vigil by a trio of Ravenclaws spilling into the wing — the boy in the middle, pale faced and wide eyed, as skittering creatures seemed to shift just beneath his skin — and Sirius slipped from the bed, staggering as he landed on the freezing floor, and darted towards the drawn curtains behind which Remus lay.

Sirius couldn’t speak the words — found them locked behind his teeth as the weight of all the generations of Blacks that had come before him bore down — but he was worried about Remus. It felt different to his worry for James or for his worry for Peter, or even his worry for Regulus. It felt sharper, liable to cut his very soul.

Remus was curled onto his back, blanket lying loose across his hips and the greeting died on Sirius’ lips as he took in the expense of bruising — almost black with the mottled shades of blue and purple — that looped up his spine.

“What happened?” Sirius asked, voice soft with horror.

“Get out.” Remus’ voice was a snarl, reminding Sirius of the monsters his parents always claimed werewolves were, Dark creatures and dangerous. He let the curtain drop, stumbling backwards and returned to his bed, feeling bile rise in his throat, a distant ringing in his ears. 

Sirius had to go back. He  _ had _ to see Remus again.

He shifted back to human form in the cover of the arched doorway into the Hospital Wing, opening the door a crack before peering in. Golden light spilled out from under Madam Pomfrey’s closed door, and Sirius knew that she would be nursing a large cup of tea with her nose stuck beneath the heavy pages of the latest paperback book she coaxed from Mr Sargon’s off book purchases. Sirius opened the door further and walked into the silent Hospital Wing.

The darkness was complete here as well, shadows thick and black beneath the iron frames of the beds, lying empty of any occupants except one.

“Knock, knock,” Sirius whispered next to Remus’ bed, pulling back the curtain a crack.

Remus half cracked an eye, staring up at Sirius uncomprehendingly for a moment that felt like it lasted a lifetime, before a frown furrowed his brow and his eye slipped closed once more.

“What time is it?” Remus whispered, voice hoarse and cracked, but he patted the edge of the bed for Sirius to sit, activating the soundproofing as he did so.

“Just before midnight.” Sirius pulled his wand out of his pocket and tapped the heavy signet ring he wore, murmuring a soft ‘ _ Lumos _ ’ as a gentle light sprung into existence, chasing away the inky shadows. “You look awful.”

He hadn’t meant to say it, but the words slipped out when he saw Remus in the light. It cast heavy shadows beneath his eyes, already marked by heavy purple bags, lines almost permanently creased into his forehead and at the edges of his mouth.

“Exactly what every boy longs to hear,” Remus chuckled before stopping with a wince, face going tight with pain.

“What’s wrong? Can I do something?” Sirius felt helpless, but Remus only grinned, the motion marred by another wince. 

“There’s a potion on the nightstand,” Remus whispered, indicating it with a glance. 

It was cold to the touch, but Sirius was familiar enough with Remus’ medication by now. It seemed different somehow as he pressed the bottle into his shaking fingers. Remus’ shoulders heaved as he gulped it down, palm pressed flat against the seam of his lips as he swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing with every motion. 

“Eventually they’ll make a pain potion that doesn’t taste bad.” Remus passed the bottle back to Sirius, but its effect was immediately obvious — a looseness to Remus’ shoulders as he pushed himself up the bed, clearing more of a space for Sirius.

It wasn’t in Sirius’ nature to be patient, but he bit back the questions queing up on his tongue, interlocking his hands in front of him. 

“My transformations are getting worse.” Remus’ voice was cold, mood darkening with every hushed word. “It’s to be expected, with puberty and that, but they don’t  _ know _ for sure. It’s not enough that I have to change into a creature every month, but it hurts constantly.”

“It doesn’t—” Sirius broke off to swallow numbly, “That isn’t fair.”

“Tell me about it.” Remus tipped his head back against the wall, eyes slipping closed for a moment, and Sirius was struck once again by how tired Remus looked, skin grey in the gentle light. “Countless people were infected by that creature, that monster, and yet, it’s not studied. There’s so much that isn’t known because I’m young.” 

Dark feelings welled up in Sirius’ chest, intense black feelings of hatred and anger towards the man who had caused so much needless suffering in Remus’ life, and energy crackled through his limbs with his desire to move, to walk around, to do something.

“ _ You _ aren’t a creature. It’s not your fault what he did to you, it’s only his fault,” Sirius countered, gesticulating with his hands for lack of something else to do, “You’re Remus. You make sure we get to classes on time even when it’s with the Slytherins, you bring the best snacks when we go on trips, you always know the right thing to say to make people feel better and you  _ care _ .”

“How did you know when I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he’s fighting bees?”

“I’m being serious.” Sirius took hold of Remus’ hands, squeezing them gently in abomination. 

Remus’ grin widened impossibly. “I know you’re Sirius, you’re always being Sirius.” He squeezed Sirius’ hands back. “But thank you. It helps that you understand.”

“I’m not saying I’m going to be perfect, but I’m going to try.”

“Thank you.” Remus yawned, jaw cracking with the force of it, and Sirius extinguished the light with a quick hissed spell, letting the darkness spill back in. It didn’t feel oppressive as before, a weight lifted from his shoulders with his new understanding.

“Sirius?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you— I mean you don’t have to, but could you maybe stay?”

The darkness hid Sirius’ blush — fierce and rampant heat flooding through his cheeks and ears — but he squeezed Remus’ hands a third time.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Good.” Sirius didn’t need light to hear the relief in Remus’ voice, wriggling to one side to allow Sirius to curl up next to him. It was a familiar scenario, reminding Sirius of the short stretches of time before dawn during the full moon — the warmth of bodies around him, and the knowledge he was safe with them — or nights after celebrations when they were too happy and exhausted to move into separate beds. Remus looped an arm around Sirius’ waist, burying his nose into his hair with a sigh of relief. 

“All good?” Sirius whispered, feeling sleep pull at his eyes in the quiet darkness.

“Never better.”


End file.
